Vegewhatnow?

I'm never going to be the scotch drinking, leather jacket wearing, Shelley quoting, clove smoking badass that I always thought I'd become.

I see that now.

It's sad, this parting of ways between who I've become, and who I always thought I'd kick my own ass into being.

Instead, I'm a teetotaling, yoga doing, non-smoking vegetarian.

Who can quote Shelley on a good day.

And I'm fine with that, I guess. I mean, I'm pretty thrilled with myself and all...

But, still.

What the fuck?

Okay, That's a lie.

When I said that there was nothing new to report, and then made a lame joke about yoga. that was a lie.
It's not that there haven't been things to report. It's just that the reports aren't great. Ever since September, I've been stuck in this weepy and lazy rut. One day, I'll write a post that doesn't mention my grandmother. But I cannot express how much her passing knocked me down. Knocked all my family down. And we've never been the "bond together against sadness" type.

What I should remember is that there have been good things. The 5k was good for my family. I saw a naked man in the park (it wasn't good, but it's a great story...and his running shoes were enviable). Friends had babies. Not that I've seen them, I'm a bit of a recluse, and shy around babies, but still - new life exists. One of my dearest friends got married. Another had dinner with me last week, and sounded more sure of himself then I've seen in a while. I'm preparing my first Thanksgiving meal this year, and I'm writing again, too.

There are GOOD things here. Solid things, foundational things.

Patanjali said "“Peace can be reached through meditation on the knowledge which dreams give. Peace can also be reached through concentration upon that which is dearest to the heart.”

Now, I'm not much for meditation, I'm too fidgety. But the last two months have given me a clear picture of what is dearest to my heart. I think that in these next two months, I'll work on concentrating. Even if it doesn't work out, it'll be more productive than Portal.

Namaste, hon

Nothing much to report. Race went fine, foot is still on the mend. taken up yoga.
I actually freaking love it, but...trendy hobbies are expensive. I can't wait til curling comes into vogue and then prices at the studio drop.

Although I've always wanted to try curling too, so I guess I'll be bummed about that when it happens.

I keep hearing my grandmother's voice in my head during my classes, poking fun at me. It's hard to hear, because I still miss her, but in my head, she's still funny.

So that's a plus.